my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

Some get away with a happy one. While men often connect to their wives through physical intimacy, a wife needs a mix of physical arousal and, Love Hormones Unraveling the Veracity of the Science of Love. I love her to death, but Im sick of the constant rejection. I retired early to get Medicare and redusece medical expenses. I am 62 years old and a healthy man with sexual needs. Tried all the hormones, the therapy, the talks, and yes, even the threats of stepping out if things dont improve. We are all just CroMagnon reborn. . Basically though, he refuses to talk about this issue with me or anyone else, namely a doctor/therapist, and claims he likes our life the way it is. My wife and I lost our beloved son several years ago. The more I got, the more I wanted. 4 Things to Teach Your Kids to Stand Up For, 5 Things Teens Need But Wont Ever Ask For, 4 Things You Can Do When Youre Not in the Mood, 20 Great Conversation Starters for Great Marriages. Its time to change your strategy. Is this the same advice you would give a man that is in a sexless marriage? Because then who leads? But it isnt. That old saying use or loose it.. Been in sexless marriage for 45 years! When we met, it was amazing. Sex is extremely painful, regardless of whatever I use to try and counteract the problem. Just shows how woman dont know anything about other women. When we first met, we had sex 2X a day morning and night. We tried and tried to get them to call us but their mother has convinced them that I am to blame for our sons death. I am new to this. The experts have very little to offer. We love each other but no sexual contact leads to a very frustrating relationship. Another reason my wife never initiates physical contact may be due to hormonal changes. oh when either of leave the house or return there is a generic kiss. Its a disturbing trap that you must avoid. Same exact situation here its a living hell! The question is, will we accept that fact, those facts, and act upon them in honorable fashion.? Be gentle and calm when you bring it up. bcb I so desired to be held, touched, kissed deeply and often, all the things that love should be about, but it wasnt to be. Believe me when I say that she has really tried and every time it has turned out badly, I really feel like an ass for going along with the effort the she was making. But he keeps wanting to try and work on it and cant seem to accept that Im changing as I grow old. If the sex is all about you, its no surprise that your partner may not want to indulge in it. I certainly feel your pain and utter frustration. The distance could be herway of punishing you and teaching you a lesson. Why do you think Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt got divorced?? I mean how do you do that if your married? When is the last time you did something romantic for her without expecting sex in return? Then it was just plain no, Im not sexually turned in. You should be glad that your wife is still with you your ass would have been out the door the first time you ever tried to tell me what to do oh and by the way Ive been married 20 years and my husband has NEVER told me what to do we both have great paying jobs and are very independent I have a Daddy and he stopped telling me what to do when I was 17. She put in over $300K on our $1M house and I told her we may need to sell it when my youngest graduates high school. Just curious. Men listen carefully If your wife stopped having sex with you after marriage she will NEVER regain that desire for you. 35 Sweet Things To Say To Your Wife To Make Her Go Awww! If Im doing the very best I can and feeling pretty good about things, ITS NEVER ENOUGH. She told me that women need estrogen their whole lives, not just up to menopause. So, I guess Ill just embrace the suck. Take care of yourself. I was looking forward to my sexual freedom and massive quantities of sex and orgasms. That was then and she is gone now. Signs My Husband Isn't Attracted To Me - He Rejects Your Hugs, Kisses, And Touch. I had a few clients who had a baby and found it difficult to start getting physically intimate with their spouses again because theyre not comfortable with their bodies, says Gopa. An endocrinologist told me he had never seen that before. I am fairly attractive and I. So when your wife seems to frequently push you away and demonstrates through her words or actions that she has no interest in making love with you, this behavior is usually caused by a one or more triggering events. He seems to think (as far as I can surmise) that sex is just a little bit dirty or should only be used for procreation purposes. Bull. This is so depressing!! I have stayed in the marriage because of my kids and other family issues which go beyond this comment. I am retired on social security, having spent my entire returment funds on an expensive divorce and a protracted hospital stay and heart and brain surgeries. My wife did not give me your three choices, but they are still there. * RECOMMENDED CONFIGURATION VARIABLES: EDIT AND UNCOMMENT Then if you still have to, decide. I feel I am supportive, helpful, etc but know Im not perfect. 2. I fear I will never know physically intimacy again in this marriage, I keep holding out hope, which is why I stay. This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. Praying for these husbands. Do they shrink with age? "Having small children is a frequent and legitimate excuse for not having sex.". If the lack of interest in physical intimacy came on suddenly and caught you unawares, it is possible that your wife is involved with another person. I hope the partner didnt expect to share the celibacy. I said well, (while pointing to my head) by the time you heal I will have checked out up here, I will be looking at women and wondering if they would be fun to be with. If a couple's sex life continues to follow a routine that doesn't tend to feel good for the woman, she may lose interest in having sex entirely. he is very persistent. He got the pill from the dr, but with his weight and age, I was just too scared for him to try it. Whenever equality or egalitarianism gets discussed in the context of marriage, you can be sure this will involve benefits/advantages, whether natural or societal, that men have that ought to be shared equally with women and not benefits/advantages, whether natural or societal, that women have that ought to be shared equally with men. He is suffering from a mental health issue. Gopa explains how it can be detrimental to your physical intimacy. Doing that just causes me to be resentful of her, and the fact that Im now reduced to doing this nasty little juvenile thing for myself. When we were young, we had sex every single day. He sits around the house and watches tv all day long. The LW sounds like a loving and considerate husband. This really sucks. We started dating in high school and never separated. Look, I am an RN and living with a man who is 5 years older than me. I have what may be slight ED..but offered to stimulate and play at sex often..there are some really fun marital I think that for me I need the human touch of a mature woman. I have suffered from sexual dysfunction ever since I started having sex at 15 back in the mid 1970s. Jos!! Even when a man has had prostate cancer, as my husband has, that does not mean he gets a free pass to close up shop and put his wife on the shelf the rest of her life. Like I have a total stranger as a house guest. Dont fool yourself into thinking that what you say or how you say it will somehow turn her back on. Any discussion goes nowhere. Thanks for pointing out that marriage therapy can also help with problems about having a sexless marriage. More men need to leave their wives when they wont have sex with them. A little flirting, some sex, and shed start pushing for a ring. I have suffered from severe sexual dysfunctions all my life, since I started having sex as a teen. I look good for my age and am so tempted to look for another relationship. I appreciate the fact my wife has accepted our sexless marriage but I wish I knew what was causing these awful dysfunctions that make sex impossible, Oh my the first paragraph is me and my wife all over just had silver anniversary its been sexless since I was about 35 Im 52 now she no longer initiates intimacy wont kiss or cuddle hates being touched no toutching or anything of that disgusting behaviour treats sex as dirty and says Im old enough to know better gave similar resolution said find someone else but canot as Id be cheating I love her but this is not living promised change every year on Holliday well do it when we get away never happens maybee I am selfish for wanting intimacy with her but wont talk about it were just stuck in a rut its a cave and were going nowhere Im still fit keep trim and look young I have a young outlook whitch she hates but hey ho good luck all I feel less frustrated reading some of these comments xx, My husband who is 80 is 15 years older then me and has health problems so on a lot of meds our sex life finished 4 year ago going down hill gradually I get very upset as there seems to be no affection between us at all he seems quite happy living like this I love him dearly so would never leave him but its hard for me every day, Oh bullshit, a womans answer to wife problems is communicate how you feel to her. Why do men who want more sex end up insulting someone who has a pet? Does your wife deal with mental health struggles or clinical depression? That means you could wait forever for your wife to just want sex. I have spoken to my wife several times. But no sex. Not only may this put her off being intimate, but you may be setting yourself and your wife up for a stressful encounter. Take care of your body and mind! She knows this is a psychological problem and doesnt reflect how I feel about her. Quite frankly, I feel like he has been and is being cheated. Frustrated. She started the menopause change about 3 years ago, however sex prior to that was maybe every few months for probably 7 years. I really just want to be wanted the way I want her, sexually or not, to just be valued as a committed, loving husband. But I do it, why? My wife sleeps through most of this so I try to keep quiet and let her sleep. It might be time for you to be more responsible and let your wife have some me-time. Pamper her with a spa day or take her out on a nice vacation for two, to break the monotony and give her the relaxation she truly needs and deserves. From so many different angles I cannot begin to list. Its not always the woman who has no interest. I wish you the best. Here are some reasons you can try if your wife doesnt initiate intimacy with you and you want her to be intimate. Good luck. A pill? Only you can decide if this is right for you. I get angry, then sad and depressed. I want my wife to be happy with the experience as well. Were currently stuck at #3, but I have a feeling #1 is gaining ground and will ultimately prevail. Start by losing the weight, shaving the body, washing daily, put some effort into youre own self and for Christs sake, clean up after yourself. Yes! Hello Mary I can imagine how frustrating it it is for you.I am 65 years old and my wife is 64.My wife is on anti-depressants and she says that she has no desire for sex We have been married for 44 years now.I last had sex about 8 years ago My wife is a very beautiful woman and I am absolutely so frustrated and find that looking at porn and mastubating is not ideal anymore, What I need is a woman, but I am afraid to approach another woman for sex for the fear of rejection, I do not want to have sex with a prostitute. Hello Will, Amen. Its dinner cooked and eaten together, with enjoyment on both sides. Anyway, I simply want you to know that as many women as men are trapped in this sadness. He is correct, the therapists want you to have hope so they can have the clients, I spent plenty on it and made numerous loving conversations. I have a TON of frustration that has built up for years. We have done counseling and it always comes back to my issues which I work on but have never seen any change from her. Do you feel my wife never initiates intimacy? and possibly evil. We men are so caught up in our egos . After all of that, the thought of intimacy at night becomes almost like another chore, says Gopa. This is the best I have read. Get a better paying job so she doesnt have to work her butt off. Due to major health issues and aging, we just quit altogether. She reached about 58 and went through late menopause which brought on vaginal dryness, solved with a doctor recommended lubricant. His needs count too. If your wife doesnt feel confident about her physical appearance, she may have inadvertently shut down your sex life. Many of these comments are a breath of fresh air. Well, you might offer to find one for them, then bud out. Many health issues can affect a woman's sexual desire, from diabetes to chronic pain conditions to cancer. Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy go hand in hand. I guess my story isnt as bad as many. We both have health issues I am 50 and she is 45 but she began having the same symptom that you described. I told him if he didnt want a divorce, he should feel free to find date outside the marriage, and if anything serious developed, we would revisit the divorce option. Frankly Im tired of people pushing to try Testosterone replacement again. Leave her, even if youre alone. Men you just need to treat her like you used to treat her before you married her every day and she will keep treating you like she did before you married her. So to many they think Im faking it. If there's no intimacy in your marriage from your wife and you've realized that she may be suffering through mental health issues, Bonobology's panel of experienced therapists can help guide your partner through this turbulent time, and perhaps re-establish the harmonious relationship you yearn for. There are physical and emotion consequences to withholding sex from a partner. Wow! When your partner wont touch you, its important to take a look at any mental health issues that may be affecting them. In such cases, it is imperative to get the right kind of help and hold your wifes hand through this extremely challenging journey. My husband had 19 affairs. The comment section saved me from my sexless marriage, the counselling article is just drivel to shore up business to the Psychologist. Nothing arouses it. Get your answer. Our sex life slowed, separated, and each found partners. As a socialite in many women sponsored events, I believe her marriage status is important in her social circle than her marriage itself. I happen to like the situation I created and I will never change it. God as our designer and maker knows what is best for us. No, I should say male divined WRONG! At least you go that far to keep your marriage happy, intake, blessed. I am 52, married for 25yrs and sex has dwindled down to once every year or two. Lets separate then.NO! Have you considered opening your relationship or swinging together? Sadly so, leave! I always ask if Im doing the right things and she says yes. When emotional intimacy dies a slow death in your relationship, its possible that it could signal an affair. How about finding self-worth in volunteering at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen? Dont kid yourself, she still understands a mans needs. Will: I was very disturbed to read your post. Demetria, so how old are you now? Why is a mans focus so connected to his ability to use a womans body to empty the contents of his balls? Maybe have her read what you have posted here so she can see your pain all laid out with no interruptions like conversations can have when 2 people are both upset and talk at the same time. No sex 7 years!!! I will probably need to work into my 70s or as long as I am able. Ive been accepting of her feelings and expectations. My best friend. Maddening! But now living with you is not what she thought it would be and she closes shop on you. Lowered estrogen can also cause her libido to lag. Its like he just doesnt think about it ever. Im not convinced of this because he does not even initiate a kiss. I guess. Just a thought. I am 60 and my wife has zero interest in sex, was never real sexual, but after menopause, it is zero. He was gone on the road 80% of the time. Well a few years ago sex began to get less and less. But men also have 12-15 times more testosterone than women far higher sex drives and are capable of siring hundreds of times more children than women are capable of bearing. Subscribe now (do it here) and dont miss a single column. (Note to women reading this thread: though the accepted wisdom is women love big penises, Ive found in my experience that its certainly not universal. 1. I have respected all she has asked and continue to do all I can to let her know I love and adore her. And you are wasting your life . In the real world things are very different. My beliefs are that I cannot step outside my marriage and commitment and it cost me some very good relationships with other women. , checking in with yourself is also good. And somehow we have convinced ourselves sex has become less important to us as we age and replaced by the comfort of just knowing we love one another? oh Pamela, I hear you! Hi I think I was just the sperm donor and now I am the sugar daddy that provides her a comfortable life. Here are some things that you can try if you want to get intimate with your spouse. When your husband keeps getting fired and he sits on the computer all day and rarely does anything around the house but bitches and complains about this or that and he puts you down and calls you names. If your wife is struggling with mental health concerns, anxiety, or depression that are not being handled professionally, gently encourage her to talk with someone about how shes feeling. Before the ink was dry on the marriage license, shed already decided she was done being nice. A marriage I have no interest in ending, ever. Please go find someone else to enjoy sex with if you can. She has to try, and she should want to try for your sake if not hers. He also has an enlarged prostate and his GP said that testosterone therapy could bring on cancer. I think Im in love and theres no turning back. Loved sexI mean with exuberance and joy. Now the difficult part. I am 55, my husband is 59. You are so right. I know that feeling of the Phone etc being more important. Weve never had an argument about it, because Im always careful not to sound like Im accusing her. If your wife is struggling with any mental health issues, she may be less interested in sex at the moment. Who risks? 69 years old and no sex together for over 20 years..I asked her if she ever gets horny anymore like when we were dating..she flatly stated no, and if thats a dealbreaker so be it. But I do like your advice, dont waste time with them and take whatever you can get now. For the past eight years it has been like I am married to my sister. You both shatter into a million pieces, and when you emerge from the depths of pain for air, you find that though you are still in love with each other, nothing will ever be the same again. These promises went on for three years and sex dwindled to once a week, once a month then stopped altogether. Ive been in one for about 47 years and Im the cause of it. You need to find a woman who respects you and wants to be intimate with you on a consistent basis. Would you be willing to see a therapist with me to learn how to talk about this? Take stock of all the good things you still have in your relationship that you might not find again. For men the cost is being far more productive than hed need to be if caring only for himself and to forsake all other partners in pairing with his wife exclusively. Should a wife forsake any of these advantages for the principle of equality? If youre living with a gut feeling that your wife avoids intimacy on purpose, it may be time to take matters into your hand to rejuvenate your relationship. Thank you Joan, for all you do. Even too much Viagra can cause things like blindness. The counselor ABSOLUTELY never touched on the subject of sex. It literally changed our lives. We are both quite healthy but she has little interesting sex now. Remember its never too late to start. I also think they pretend to be happy. Hasnt been for decades. Too bad; I truly live him but I dont need the stress. She know eccatly what shes doing. We seem to have fallen into a marriage without sex. Its no secret that sex after marriage tends to become monotonous, especially if neither partner makes an effort to keep the fire of passion burning. We went to a therapist who separated us and I thought that might help her confidence. I have tried internet sex and it wasnt bad but it wasnt enough. If shes not in the mood neither am I . Research shows that sexual communication was strongly associated with increased relationship satisfaction and heightened orgasm frequency in women. We went to separate colleges and this was before cell phones and computers. Cheating just isnt in me. It also says that we are to make our bodies our patents, not ours. Really its happening with many couples as the year goes and children born the interest goes down. Sex is over. There is some offensiveness directed towards men but I can benefit from your observations. If not he should go on in it. goodluck! "Sexuality will often emerge naturally from their authentic emotional intimacy.". She started losing interest when our children were youngshed be OK with sex once or twice a month, and only when she was in the mood. Nothing, I mean nothing, kills a relationship, a marriage, a union, more thoroughly than complacency and boredom. During the first twenty- five years of our marriage we were both church goers and sent our son to Catholic schools, but we both now feel that religion doeset always have all the answers. Thank you for recognizing a very very bad situation and trying to remedy. Neither partner should have to feel obligated to satisfy the other out of some outmoded quasi religious relief or instruction, my wife is wonderful in many ways but now has reached, she believes, a stage[67] where she has no desire, except release masturbation , thats my misfortune but I try to understand. I told her that I did not want that, That I only wanted her but she said she loves me but has no sexual feelings, it is slowly destroying me and I do not know what to do, she refuses to talk about it, will not spoon in bed and pulls away from any hug. Weekly turned into Monthly then every 3 or 4 months question about sex. It is equally open to the man to be charitable by eating alone. Once we get a savings built up, we are going to enjoy life and enjoy ourselves even more. I dont know where to start. If his wife doesn't want to meet those needs, she should support him getting them met elsewhere or just set him free . I always thought by the time I retired, I would have both the time and energy to truly connect sexually with my spouse without worrying about kids interrupting, getting up early for work or that sex had to be scheduled. Men my advice is dont get married or move in with women if you love sex. My husband has no sex drive at all. So, Thomas maybe your right they must be doing it wrong. I am very attracted sexually to my wife and it hurts my ego that she isnt at all. I think it is true that having sex with your partner is part and parcel of the love you feel for each other otherwise it just seems to fade. She chose to be sexless, so now she has another choice to make. If that is not possible, it may be too late. Even with some ED we can still have a good orgasm..but she wont even touch me.. Im not a bad looking guy, and tend to her needs materially.. but sex is off the table. I used to ride, but geez that gets old and is still a problem because of the size and lack of hardness. I appreciate the fact that my wife has stayed with. Wills comment is more true than not (and certainly not far from true). The first and most important thing you should do if your wife is never in the mood is talk about it. I see a divorce in the near future. If the marriage has made you take your personal hygiene for granted, this lax attitude could be a total turn-off for her. I am very hormonal being athletic and take DHEA supplements which enhance desire. Tall. Or when it doesnt really get hard, does the throbbing stop also in men? Very few people in my club and I sincerely hope not many more people join, Mike G, Is it something we should split over? If your wife wont have sex, it could be that she just doesnt feel close to you anymore, and the idea of being intimate makes her feel too vulnerable. Even if it is difficult, do everything you can to put yourself in her shoes. I wonder if it could be depression (something he wouldnt admit to), but its been going on a long time. Now ASAP get a life please. We were easy pickings since that biological clock was ticking louder and she still hadnt landed Chad. Juggling household and professional responsibilities single-handedly is no easy feat. Make time when you are both relaxed. Never did I roll over and fall asleep, and always tried to give her an orgasm until I had one. Theres always a lot going on in the Senior Planet universe. Your children can/will respect only what they see and experience. See the New York Times story, Does a More Equal Marriage Equal Less Sex?. But dont give up! Theres more to life than that, theres more to life than escapingtheres connecting deeper with your partner, taking more trips, spending more time together, learning more skills, building or supporting others together, getting involved in your communities more! interested in sex as they grow older but I find that to be true of men as well at least in the case of my husband! An underlying, undetectedmental health issue can affect sex drive. Even if it is difficult, do everything you can to put yourself in her shoes. Try to keep things fun and adventurous between the sheets so that your wife is unable to resist you. My wife and I now both sleep with settled stomachs (and I dont wake hungry in the night). At this stage, you may be right about getting help. Two lovers need boundaries to choose their path. It is sad when u see other men drooling over me but the one I want. So, Im on my own unless I decide to cheat. Harley and Mike, I have a loving wife but her sex drive is down to ziltch. Divorce is not an option, But when the second son moves out to college there is an option I take his bedroom AND there is an option I go on an extended car road trip for a few months. After being away for a month I lay there hoping to speak to to my wife and greet her in the morning after a long nights sleep. If they need get that only from you, so be it. I dont mean to downgrade the pain someone feels with this, but there are levels to everything. and I feel I have been cheated. I suggested just me doing him and he close his eyes and touch me nope. wompatuck state park bunkers map,

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